Looking for the best plant puns and jokes?! Then you’ve come to the right place. These puns will have everyone laughing!
I’m a succa for a good pun or joke! Whether you’re a botanist, gardener, or you just like to smell the roses, these puns and jokes will grow on you!
I know you’ll love these. They’re sure to keep you laughing. Get ready to grow crazy!

Plant Puns
- You can poppy-n anytime!
- Have you botany plants lately?
- Leaf me alone.
- It’s just one of rose things….
- Life would succ without you.
- Do you need some encourage-mint?
- What is carnation?
- I’m sexy and I grow it!
- Mum’s the word!
- We’re best buds forever.
- You grow girl!
- You’re looking sharp.
- He’s just a one-trick peony.
- Wood you be mine?
- Oh my gourd, you’re ridiculous.
- It’s party thyme.
- Iris you all the happiness in the world.
- She rose to the occasion.
- Put the petal to the metal.
- You’re my bam-boo.
- She has a violet streak.
- Time to turnip the volume.
- I’ ready to take it from “cacti” to “cactus”.
- OK, Bloomer!
- I’m kind of a big dill.
- Say also to my little friend.
- I’m just pollen your leg.
- If I had a trillium dollars.
- I’d never leaf you.
- I lilac you.
- I love you a lily more each day.
- A peony saved is a peony earned.
- Long thyme no see.
- I’m glad I pricked you.
- Don’t kale my vibe.
- Let’s take a leaf of faith.
- I’ve soiled myself.
- I’m se excited that I wet my plants.
- Can I have a peony for your thoughts?
- If you can’t beet ’em, join ’em.
- You’re unbeleafable.
- I’m a succa for puns.
- Thistle be the best day ever.
- Can’t touch this!
- I’m such a succa for a lovely new plant!
- You make my heart skip a beet.
- What in carnation?
- The plot thickens.
- Talk dirty to me.
- You prickle my fancy!
- I’m totally stuck on you.
- Chive never met anyone quite like you.
- Pretty fly for a cacti.
- Hope your birthday is on point.
- Good chives only.
- I’m sexy and I grow it.
- Cat-I + Cat-ME = Cat-US
- Take a leaf of faith!
- You’re unbeleafable!
- Did you see that dog peony on the tree?
- I hate when bay leaves.
- I wet my plants.
- Everybody romaine calm..
- Pretty fly for a cacti.
- Someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens.
- Take it or leaf it.
- Last bud not leaf.
- Aloe you vera much.
- Uno moss.
- Once and floral.
- You prickle my fancy.
- Let’s stick together.
- It’s just one of rose things.
- Don’t moss with me.
- Plant a kiss on me.
- Let me plant one on ya!
- Chive never met anyone quite like you.
- Aloe you vera much.
- Pot it like it’s hot.
- I’ll never leaf you!
- Let’s hang out every daisy.
- If the flower doesn’t like me, I don’t carrot all.
- Say aloe to my little friend.
- I’ll never desert you.
- I lilac you.
- Lettuce do our best.
- Here’s hoping your day doesn’t suc.
- It’s a little bit rad, but not totally rad. It’s only radish.
- I beg your garden?
- You’re stuck with me.
- I hate when bay leaves.
- Cleaning my cold frame is a pane in the glass.
- He just needed a kick in the bud.
- Pot it like it’s hot.
- Onions make me sad. A lot of people don’t realize that.
- Speak now or forever hold your peas.
- Cactus makes perfect.
- I’m rooting for you!
- She can be a bit violet when she’s mad.
- Not dead yet succa.
- Don’t be ranunculus.
- Sorry, I already have plants this weekend.
- Can you move any aster?
- I’m so glad we pricked each other.
- Pot it like it’s hot.
- Good chives only.
- Let’s have a little fern!
- You can’t plant greenery if you haven’t botany.
- One more thyme.
- Kale yeah!
- We make a prickly pear.
- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
- Chive loved you for so long.
- You grow girl!
- You’re so prickly when you wake up.
- Don’t kale my vibe.
- Thistle be a night to remember.
- Everyone romaine calm.
- Walking barefoot is good for the sole.
- What would you like to do with a trillium dollars?
- Fennel I see you again?
- Excuse me, I’ll be right bok.
- I love you a lily more every day.
- Good chives only.
- You make my spines tingle.
- Let’s stick together.
- You make my heart skip a beet.
- It’s party thyme.
- So fresh and so green.
- Thistle do.
- The raisin wined about how he couldn’t achieve graveness.
- I’m very frond of you.
- You’re stuck with me now.
- Oh my gourd, that is funny.
- I’m kind of a big dill.
- She’s untouchable.
- Succulents are plant-tastic.
- That goodness spring is finally here! The trees are re-leaved.
- If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.
- That’s a thorny issue.
- I love you from my head to-ma-toes.
- We’re mint to be.
- I feel hollow inside.
- Lilac the ability to control myself.
- She took stalk of her life.
- Sup succa.
- You’re an in-tree-guing person.
- I’m in quite a prickle.
- I’m rooting for you!
- Scarecrows are always garden their patch.
- Don’t stick your neck out.
- I can’t tree-fuse your offer.
- Orange you glad I made this list of plant puns!

Plant Jokes
- What happened when a flower flushes? It turns rosy.
- What do you call an everyday potato? A common-tater.
- Why wouldn’t the plant date the other? They didn’t want no shrubs!
- What did the sunflower say to her BFF when she reached 5 feet tall? “You grow, girl!”
- How much room should you give fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible.
- What did the rose text her best bud? I’m all dress up and have nowhere to grow!
- What’s the fiercest type of flower? A dandelion.
- How do you fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste.
- What did the husband say when his wife told him he bought the wrong flowers? Oopsie daisy!
- What did the grape say when it was crushed? Nothing, but it let out a little wine.
- How do roses kiss? They plant one on the other’s cheek.
- I feel sorry for for wheelbarrows. They’re always getting pushed around.
- What did the boy plant say to his girlfriend? I’ll never leaf you.
- I got arrested at the Farmers Market. I was disturbing the peas.
- Why do trees have so many friends? They branch out.
- Can you pick up the groceries? I haven’t botany.
- How do plants practice self-care? They try to weed out unnecessary drama!
- The carrot has a football match tomorrow and everyone is rooting for it to win!
- How do you grow a flower that glows in the dark? With a light bulb.
- Plants in-tree-duce each other the first time they meet.
- Carrots have a hard time letting go of things. They are deeply rooted issues.
- How do plants practice self-care? They try to weed out unnecessary drama!
- What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business.
- My fear of roses is a thorny issue. I’m not sure what it stems from but I’m stuck with it.
- Why did the lettuce close its eyes? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- I started dating the girl across the street. Honestly, lawn-distance relationships aren’t that hard.
- What part of a flower has the most friends? The bud.
- How does that song go? Fern down for what!
- Did you hear the story about the flower who went on a date with another flower? It’s a budding romance!
- Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- Why was the weeping willow so sad? It watched a sappy movie.
- I killed a hundred weeds today! No, you only killed 98 weeds. Geez, sorry, I round-up.
- How did the tree make so many friends? It branched out.
- Why couldn’t the flower ride its bicycle to school? It lost its petals.
- What new plant did the gardener sow? Beets me!
- What did the flower tell the other flower after she told a joke? I was just pollen your leg!
- She didn’t date the gardener. He was too rough around the hedges.
- What did the watermelon say to the cantaloupe? You’re one in a melon.
- What did the farmer say to the crushed grapes? Stop wining.
- Why did the flower decide to try out Tinder? He was just looking for somebody to love.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
- Where do saplings go to learn? Elementree school.
- What did the flower tell the taxi diver so he’d go faster? Floret!
- Do you have the thyme? I need to get somewhere around tree o’clock.
- Why did the apricot ask a prune to dinner? Because he couldn’t find a date.
- What did the flower decide to study in college? STEM.
- How does a flower whistle? By using its tulips.
- I’m almost certain there is something wrong with my cactus, but I just can’t put my finger on it!
- How are you doing zucchini? I’m vine, thanks for asking.
- Mountains aren’t just funny. They’re hill areas.
- How did the flower get over the fight she had with her sister? She rose above it.
- What do you do after you take a picture of a flower? You wait for it to photosynthesize.
- Why is everyone dancing? Because the farmer dropped a beet.
- What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybee.
- Why did the gardener think her plant was sick? It was looking very green.
- How do flowers greet each other in the morning? Hey, bud! How’s it growing?!
- Why couldn’t the flower ride its bicycle to school? It lost its petals.
- Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
- My neighbor says he is too afraid to plant an apple tree. I told him “Grow a pear!”
- Can you be-leaf how great all my succulent plants are doing?
- What garden plant is always cold? A chili.
- What dating app does a tree use? Timber.
- Why did the tree need to take a nap? For rest.
- Many gardeners suffer from hay fever. Isn’t that news a pollen?
- What did one plant say to another? What’s ta-ma-ta?
- Why was the tree stumped? It couldn’t get to the root of the problem.
- What did the flower ask the sad flower? Are you doing bouquet?
- How did the flower get a boat from one side of the lake to the other? It rose.
- How do trees get online? They just log in.
- Where do flowers go when they need to recharge after a long day? The power plant.
- What do plants eat when they’re kind of hungry but not that hungry? A light snack.
- Why did the cactus get in trouble at school? It couldn’t keep its plants to itself!
- What did one cactus say to the other cactus? You’re looking sharp!
- Garden centers are attempting to stem a fall in the sale of fresh flowers.
- What did the girl cactus say to the boy cactus? I’m so glad we pricked each other!
- The kales told the cabbage, “We love you a whole bunch.”
- What has no fingers but lots of rings? A tree.
- I started dating the girl across the street. Honestly, lawn-distance relationships aren’t that hard.
- Why are trees so tall and thing? They only eat light.
- Trees and plants have such a strong social network. They branch out for it pretty well.
- What makes some plants better at math than others? Square roots!
- What’s a nervous tree called? A sweaty palm.
- How did the flowers survive so long without water? They really rose to the occasion!
- What do you call a rose that runs on electricity? A power plant!
- Why do trees have so many friends? They branch out.
- How do you grow a flower that glows in the dark? With a light build.
- Why did the tomato blush? Because he saw the salad dressing!
- How do trees get on Instagram? They log in.
- What do you call a salad leaf that constantly goes to the gym? Shredded lettuce!
- I was worried that the plants were fake, but they weren’t. That’s a real leaf!
- What tree will fit in your hand? A palm tree.
- What would an MTV show about a plant be called? A Day in the Leaf.
- How do plants keep things under control? They weed out unnecessary drama and ask troublemakers to leaf.
- Can I sleep over at your house? I don’t need mushroom.
- What did the flower tell the other flower after she told a joke? “I was just pollen your leg!”
- What did the mama lettuce tell her little ones when it started to storm? Everyone needs to romaine calm.
- What did the Canadian tree say to the American? I’m from Montreeal.
- How does a plant answer the phone? Aloe?
- What do you do after you take a picture of a flower? You wait for it to photosynthesize.
- What did the succulent learn in math class? How to do square roots!
- Plants are the best companions and friends to have. They always end up rooting for each other.
- How do you clone a plant? Stem cells.
- Why do plants go to therapy? To get to the root of their problems!
- What did the plant tell the DJ? Turnip the volume.
- The onions said to all other plants in the garden, “I love you with all my head tomatoes.”
- Why did the flower decide to try out Tinder? He was just looking for somebody to love.
- Why did the cabbage win the track race at school? Because it was ahead.
- What is the highest number that a plant can count to? Tree.
- Why can’t you iron a four leaf clover? Because you shouldn’t press you luck!
- What song does a gardener know all the words to? Lettuce Be.
- What flowers should you never give as gifts? Cauliflowers.
- My leaf blower doesn’t work. It just sucks!
- Why are trees so tall and thin? They only eat light.
- How did the gardener know his herbs were fully grown? It was just about thyme!
- What garden plant is always cold? A chili.
- My wife complained that I never buy her flowers. I didn’t even know she sold flowers.
- What’s the laziest plant? The ZZ plant!
- It’s just not worth it to argue with a cactus…they have too many great points!
- What kind of garden does a baker usually have? A flour garden.
- What do you call the argument between two vegans? A plant-based beef.
- Why didn’t the flower get to go out on a second date? He was a garden variety.
- How do succulents confess their feelings? “Aloe you vera much!”
- What’s the saddest plant? A weeping widow!
- What did the watermelon say to his crush? You’re one in a melon!
- When the plants go to a party, other plants end up kale-ing their vibe.
- What did one plant lady say to another plant lady? Botany plants lately?
- How did the tree ask out his crush? He said, “Wood you be mine?”
- How do roses kiss? They plant one on the other’s cheek.
- What did the pirate call his vegetable patch? His garrrrgh-den.
- What do you call the leftover bits of lettuce at the bottom of your salad bowl? The last romaines.
- Do you have the thyme? I need to get somewhere around tree o’clock.
- How do you identify a dogwood tree? By its bark.
- What kind of a plant pictures get the most likes on social media? Thirst traps.
- What did the mama plant tell her kids? Don’t moss around!
- Why do trees have so many friends? They branch out.
- How is a flower similar to the letter A? A bee goes after it.
- What’s a frog’s favorite type of flower? Croakus!
- Where did the plant want to travel? All clover the world!
- What plant should you watch out for? An ambush!
- What do you say to the cacti storyteller? I’m on pins and needles.
- How do you get a plant drunk? You give it root beer.
- What’s the scariest plant? Bam-boo!
- Why did the gardener think her plant was sick? It was looking very green.
- What advice can you give a plant that’s having a hard day? Just green and bear it.
- Why does Yoda grow such pretty plants? He has green thumbs!
- What’s a cheerleading herb called? An encourage mint.
- What did the plant say to her sister when she came home? Long thyme no see.
- Where did the plant want to travel? All clover the world!
- What’s green and sings? Elvis Parsley.
- What flowers should you never give as gifts? Cauliflowers.
- When does a farmer usually dance? When he drops a beet.
- What did the big flower say to the little flower? What’s up, bud?!
- What kind of flowers bloom on your face? Tulips!
- Where do flowers recharge? At a power plant.
- What was the farmer super embarrassed yesterday? He wet his plants.
- Why didn’t the crops’ relationship work out? They were dating lawn-distance, so they weren’t really fielding it.
- What is a baby chick’s favorite type of plant? An egg-plant!
- What is small, red, and whispers? A hoarse radish!
- How does a farmer host a garden party? He turnips the beet.
- What is a baby chick’s favorite type of plant? An egg-plant!
- Can I sleep over at your house? I don’t need mushroom.

How To Write Your Own Pun
Trying to write your own puns?
All you need to do is say a plant word like tree, flower, leaf, cactus, succulent, or plant over and over a few times. Listen and try to think of other words they sound like.
Now, you can write a pun like, “I’m a succa for you!”
Have fun writing amazing plant puns!
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Final Thoughts
I hope you like these puns and jokes as much as I do! Let me know what you think in the comments.