Looking for the best rock puns and jokes? Well, look no further! These puns will have you laughing until you’re rock solid!
My neighbor is a geologist. So, naturally, I came up with the best list of rock puns and geologist jokes. Now, whenever I see him, I’m ready to make him laugh!
Here’s the best list of puns and jokes you’ll find! I know you’ll have a solid time. Au revoir!

Rock Puns
Here are funny rock puns!
- You must remember to keep your coal.
- Be patient with geologists. They all have their faults.
- That geologist gave me the coal shoulder.
- Geologists don’t wrinkle, they show lineation.
- Geologists love music, but their playlists get boring. They’re only rock and roll.
- You need to be boulder during the presentation.
- My rock collection has so much sedimental value.
- A geologists favorite restaurant is the Hard Rock Cafe.
- They are gravelling at my feet.
- I may be obsessed with rocks, but that’s my pre-rock-ative.
- It’s a hard rock life!
- I’m going to look for gems this weekend, and I may need your assistance-stones.
- Geologists never lose their luster!
- The geologist was found guilty in a quartz of law.
- The new geology teacher hasn’t had it easy. He got off to a rocky start.
- Geologists are really rock stars!
- I lava you so much!
- “Sedimentary, my dear Watstone.”
- Geologists love to talc about science every day.
- I think my career as a geologist is really on the rocks.
- This book about rocks is a fascinating pebble-cation.
- If your favorite band isn’t the Rolling Stones, then you’re not really a geologist.
- It is true. You should never take life for granite.
- A geologists’s favorite drink is anything on the rocks.
- Geologists like to party allanite long!
- Was that a hit ore miss?
- You need to be boulder during your presentations.
- It’s definitely crystal clear that these puns about rocks are very punny.
- Geologists are so gneiss!
- It takes a boulder person to read through this list of puns.
- You’ve got to commit to geology, it’s all ore nothing.
- When you kiss a geologist, you can feel the earthquake.
- I liked carbon before it was coal.
- Geology puns are great, they really draw pebble together.
- Do geologists take nothing for granite?
- That geologist gave me the coal shoulder.
- I’m getting tired of getting called to school because the only rocks my son knows are punk, classic, and heavy metal.
- Geologists have their faults.
- He just igneous me whenever I try talking to him.
- Todd’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned. Too bad Todd didn’t haven’t avalanche insurance.
- Apparently, geologists don’t ever get a pit in their stomach.
- Power to the pebble.
- A geologists’s favorite fruit is the pome-granite.
- Geologists date anything.
- I love the beach. You could even say I was a pebble person.
- They are gravelling at my feet.
- I want to make an impact on the world. I do things for the crater good of humanity.
- The quartz will probably find him guilty.
- There’s no halfway with a geologist. It’s all ore nothing.
- Of quartz it is!
- I’ll never take you for granite.
- I don’t want to chalk about it.
- That rock was magma before it was cool, know what I mean?
- Look who’s chalking!
- Geologists get their rocks off.
- So let’s start with a clean slate.
- I love to enjoy some small chalk.
- My dad dropped this gem during breakfast.
- Geology rocks, but Geography is where it’s at.
- If you’re going to claim to be the best stone mason, the least you could do is have some concrete proof.
- Geologists dig Mother Earth.
- I came across this gem earlier. Emerald.
- Talking about rock puns slowly eroded what was once a good friendship.
- Some of your jokes fluorite over my head.
- Geologists do it on the rock.

Rock Jokes
Here are the best rock jokes!
- Why did the quartz fin date rock guilty? They had concrete evidence.
- Why did the rock and the stone break up? The trust in their relationship eroded.
- Did you hear the one about the geologist? He took his wife for granite so she left him.
- Why couldn’t the rock and stone keep dating without trust? It was the bedrock of their relationship.
- How do geologists like to relax? In rocking chairs, of course!
- What does the water in a geologist’s cup do? Evaporate.
- Why wasn’t the rock specialist hungry? He lost his appetite.
- Why did the geologist and his girlfriend break up? There was too much friction in their relationship.
- What do hipsters think of carbon? They liked it before it was coal.
- Did you heart about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn’t put it down.
- What’s a geologist’s favorite time period? The Stone Age.
- When they started dating, what did the rock say to the stone? We’re going rock steady.
- What did a boy volcano say to a girl volcano? “Hey, do you want to be my lava?”
- Why are geologists good at stand up comedy? They know really “dirty” jokes.
- Did you hear about the drunk geologist? Hi finally hit rock bottom.
- Why did the volcano do nothing with its free time instead of getting a job? He was an inactive volcano.
- I read in Quartz Illustrated that geologists are really athletic!
- Why did the rock shower every morning? He wanted to start with a clean slate.
- Which rock group is made up of four men who can’t sing? Mount Rushmore.
- Why isn’t it safe for a rock to marry a piece of paper? Because paper beats rock.
- I have an obsessions with polishing minerals that’s crystal clear!
- Why did the rock go to jail? The quartz found him guilty.
- I had to leave the granite industry. It was counterproductive.
- Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
- Why was the geologist having a difficult time? He was in between a rock and a hard place.
- What do you call the chemical bond in minerals? A gems bond.
- You didn’t think these were good puns? Of quartz they were!
- What did the stone say when he ended up at the bottom of the hill? That’s how I roll.
- Why did the hipster like the rock? It was magma before it was cool.
- What happens when you look up geology jokes? You know you’ve hit rock bottom!
- How were the rock and the stones relationship at first? Solid.
- I quit my job at the quarry. They took worker safety for granite.
- What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure.
- Why dod you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
- Eating a rock is actually good for you. It’s full of minerals!
- Why is it hard to be a diamond? Too much pressure.
- What is a geologist’s favorite treat? Rock candy.
- What do geologists do when they find an empty cup? Phyllite.
- Where do you get bare minerals from? A strip mine.
- Where do geologists study? At sedimentary school.
- What do lazy rocks do? Sit around all day getting stoned.
- How did the rock feel about going to jail? He was petrified.
- The dumb geologist had a gold ore in his backyard. Poor man took it for granite.
- What did one volcano say to the other volcano? Nice ash!
- Did you hear about the rock dating the stone? It was not just a plutonic relationship.
- What do you call small rocks? Mini-rals.
- Mineral water can be non-carbonated. But it’s still water.
- What do people love most about geologists? They are so down to earth.
- Who is a geologist’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones.
- What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake? A sham rock.
- What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure.
- Apparently some pet rocks are braver than others…I understand they’re a little boulder.
- Whose underground shaft should we dig for minerals in? Mine.
- Do you want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
- How do you discipline your pet rock? You hit rock bottom.
- Oh, you were looking for rock jokes? Let’s see what we can dig up.
- My friend started a company that digs rocks and minerals. He’s just mining his own business.
- Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap? Because it was on shale.
- What kind of rock complains? A whin-estone.
- Got a pet rock yesterday….I told him to roll over.
- Why did the rock sleep all day? He was a bedrock.
- What did the vampire say to the geologist? Albite.
- Why can’t you purchase minerals by the gallon? They only come in quartz.
- What did gold say to pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
- Some people think a pet rock is worthless, but I think it has sedimental value.
- Why don’t geologists argue? They’re too pelite.
- Did you see the geologist towing a crate of rocks behind his car? He had a wide lode sign.
- Want to hear a mountain joke? No, you won’t get over it.
- Some of these jokes fluorite over my head.
- I lost my pet rock in Morocco. Where did Morocco?
- I know this gem of a procrastination joke. I’ll tell you later.
- What do you call a gem 6 feet under the ground? My grandmother.
- I loved my pet rock. Our friendship was solid.
- How did the rock feel when he got covered in algae? He was lichen it.
- Why shouldn’t you let a geology student drive your car? Because they get hammered and stoned.
- Who is a geologist’s favorite actor? Chris Rock.
- Your rock collection is so sedimental!
- He’s obsessed with rocks and it’s his prerockative.
- Eating rock is full of minerals.
- The geologist got off to a rocky start.

How To Write Your Own Pun
Writing your own puns is super easy! All you need to do is say a rock word like lava, stone, rock, or solid over and over a few times.
Listen and try to think of other words they sound like. Now, you can write a pun like, “I lava you!”
Have fun writing amazing rock puns!
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Final Thoughts
I hope you like these puns and jokes as much as I do! Let me know what you think in the comments.